Brutal Honesty

The last four months have been humbling for me. Becoming a mother is humbling - you learn that you don't know everything, can't do everything, and that your baby will be different from the babies in the books and your friends' babies.

I've learned I am a limited person. There's only so much I can handle. Example: the other day, in the afternoon Isaac was on his third or fourth hour of fussing, with very little napping (20

minutes tops?) and I was changing his diaper, and he was just screaming, and I had to take a second to just close my eyes and breathe. I'm working on "resiliency."

Additionally, being laid off (or I guess more accurately, "fired") is quite humbling. And then, being unemployed and job hunting is its own kind of humbling: "Do I meet the minimum requirements?" "Could I handle this job if I were to be hired?" It's difficult to sell myself effectively through countless cover letters.

Fortunately, while I have been humbled (which, I think, was exactly what I needed), I really don't think I'm in a crisis, and I feel very secure in the Lord. I know He will provide! If I'm being honest with myself, I know I never would have quit my old job on my own. So I'm excited to see what His new plan is for me. I also know He won't give me more than I can handle with Isaac.

This sweet, punkin boy. I am so incredibly grateful for my time at home with him. He certainly has challenging days, but he's so snuggly and has the sweetest little giggle. He is almost four months old and is changing so quickly! He has two teeth already (so we've been dealing with the joys of teething) and he's been trying so hard to roll over! Soon I will be buying fleece to protect the new crib from the beaver baby (when he can sit and pull himself up to chew on crib rails)!