It's a Dog's Life

A day in the life of Reggie Wang, beagle, age 2.

6:45 a.m. Wake up, try to get mom or dad out of bed to feed me. They usually don't, so I have two options. 1. Go back to sleep and pester them in a half hour, or: 2. Start wretching out of hunger. This will get mom out of bed in 0.5 seconds, to get me outside before I throw up.

7:15 a.m. Breakfast with a side of Benadryl - I have seasonal allergies, so I take meds twice a day, or else I chew on/lick my paws all day because they itch (and other gross things I won't go into). I'm a little high-maintenance.

7:45 a.m. Mom and Dad leave for work. They feel guilty, so I get a treat. Score!

8 a.m. to Noon Alternate watching out the window (my reality T.V.) and sleeping.

Noon Mom and/or Dad come home for lunch. I get another treat when they leave because they feel guilty again. Score!

1 to 5 p.m. Alternate watching out the window and sleeping.

5 p.m. Mom and Dad home from work. Take a walk around the park or neighborhood. Smell 5,000 different smells, and poop 4 times. Heaven.

6 p.m. Dinner with a side of Benadryl.

6 to 9 p.m. Sit on top of Mom or Dad while they relax. Who cares if I weigh 50 pounds? I am still a lap dog. That or go crazy trying to get them to play with me.

9-10:30 p.m. Fall asleep while Mom watches T.V. and Dad plays video games.

10:30 p.m. Obediently lie down on my bed (on the floor), but only because they give me a treat. Score!

2:00 a.m. Mom and Dad have fallen asleep and won't really notice that I've gotten up on their bed, burrowed underneath the down comforter, and established my place as the most important family member. Maybe I'll even get a pillow this time. Yes!